Anyone Cares to Bitch with Ann Coulter? By Qansy Salako


Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz cartoonI am not sure if those super-sensitive Nigerian reactionaries who bawled inconsolably at the one liner anti-Nigeria wisecrack by the Canadian-Latino-American Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz have seen the latest in-your face anti-Nigeria diatribe by the Arian American Republican hothead, Ann Coulter.

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Here are some snippets from Coulter’s, for those who haven’t read her 13Nov13 Obamacare article.

[Quote] “If you call today, you can sign up for Obamacare plus learn about a Nigerian prince in exile who’s willing to share his vast inheritance with you in exchange for your bank account numbers.”

“In America, we think only dumb people become criminals. That’s not true in the Third World! Nigeria, for example, leads the world in criminal enterprises. Every level of Nigerian society is criminal, with the smart ones running Internet scams, the mid-range ones running car theft rings, and the stupid ones engaging in piracy and kidnapping. At the University of Lagos, you can major in credit card fraud.”

“There were almost no Nigerians in the United States until the 1970s. Today, there are nearly 250,000 Nigerians in the U.S. (committing the cyber-crime Americans just won’t do!). In 2011, we took in more immigrants from Nigeria than from the United Kingdom (9,246 from the U.K. and 9,344 from Nigeria).” [Unquote]

Oh Ann, you don’t say.

And boy, did she know how to support her arguments with data?

I say nothing is ever whiter and fouler than Coulter’s vomits any time the sister spews.

Hear her again: “Nigeria, for example, leads the world in criminal enterprises…..At the University of Lagos, you can major in credit card fraud.”

Wow. Did any one of our royally offended compatriots read that?

Anyone cares to bitch with Ann on her charges?

Abi we dey guilty as charged?

Why is it that the truth about us that the world sees is different from the truth we see of ourselves, anyway? It is even worse inside our country. In there, the Nigerian ruling vagabonds see progress in our rot and call Boko mayhem mere teething problems. Of a 53 year old nation, that is.

But the Americans, Europeans, Asians, Latinas, Australians, Indians, Arabs, even other Africans, all see our country as a faraway planet where people live and thrive on corruption. Our own brand of democracy is government of the crooked for the lame by the fraudulent. The top echelons of our leadership class have nothing in their brains except how to fleece and swindle our nation state. We’ve got corrupt governors who are serving jail terms abroad because of the same activities for which they are revered in our country. Some skipped bail abroad for corruption charges but are given official Nigerian state pardon for being role models in our own society. We’ve got imbecile governors killing citizens with their motorcade, just on the course of a day’s job driving like maniacs the 2-mile distance from their stolen mansion to their treacherous office. We’ve got a president who is telling the whole world that most of what everyone else believes is corruption in Nigeria is actually not corruption. That he had reviewed the cases with his attorney general and has concluded that corruption is not our major problem in Nigeria.

Anyone cares to bitch with Ann?

But what the global spectators see of us doesn’t get any clearer than how Coulter has described us in her education of the American electorate.

Can we all now agree, at least, that Ted Cruz’s cheek in tongue was a friendly fire?

I stated the following in my recently published commentary on “That Ted Cruz’s Pun: Apology My Foot:”

[Quote] Amazingly, indignant Nigerians protesting Cruz only want an apology, fake or genuine, forced out of him, just as it was with Powell and the CNN documentary. But of course, what else could they have required from Ted, sue Cruz? Then what, after the apology? Lay in wait for another unfriendly but truthful statement by a prominent person about Nigeria and then kaboom, unleash the typical hollow Nigerian rage? Collect another apology then sit back? Would this legislate against unwanted world views of Nigeria or intimidate foes into loving Nigerians? [Unquote]

I ought to consider becoming a Nigerian prophet, for after all the sound and fury of Cruz’ified Nigerians threatening the whole of Texas State with letters and signatures, a sandy apology at that was the best bear hug our dehumanized compatriots could settle for from Ted. Otherwise, what else could they do to outsiders who call us by the characters we reflect to the world? To live in denial is a disease and folks need to do something about their rustic ego. Go to a rehab for management of misplaced outrage.

When I wrote the above statement, I thought the next season of apology would be in about five years. But now, it is your lucky day unrealistic Nigerians. Here comes another chance so soon to hunt for another apology. Ain’t that something to get you in a tizzy and get your tired asses up for a new round of signature drives? All of you angry at our onlookers, the self important Diaspora professors, idle home-based vice chancellor, perfunctory ambassadors, bored cabdrivers, security guards, dishwashers and warts, troop out and show Ann Coulter that you can’t take it no more. Spare the ruiners of our country, but do your worse to certified honest bigots like American bitterheart Ann.

You can recycle the same letters to Cruz for Ann, but it shouldn’t be hard to obtain a few more thousand signatures this time around. Tell Coulter, enough is enough. Show them your place and worth in the American economy and politics. This is a serious insult to us as a country and people. No nation can do this to Israel and get away with it. Not even Saudi Arabia, not to talk of China. Uhn hun, Tufiakwa, we’ve got to show them. If Ann is not forthcoming with an apology quickly enough, President Obama ought to apologize on behalf of Ann and the American people. Should Ann as much as snort or laugh at your indignation, send a message to our own President Goodluck Jonathan and demand that he summons the American ambassador in Abuja right away for talks.

Go out and tell Ann Coulter to her face, nobody messes with Nigeria.

The person will only have him or herself scammed for daring.

Ewu letter writers.

Signature collectors…. Pstchew.

Babatunde Akinsola
Babatunde Akinsola
Babatunde Akinsola is aNaija247news' Southwest editor. He's based in Lagos and writes on the Yoruba Nation political issues, news and investigative reports

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