By Brian C Thomas
Sex outside of marriage (fornication) is having a devastating effect on the world today. Most people, including Christians, choose to ignore God’s instructions concerning this area. A lot of pastors choose to ignore teaching God’s instructions and unfortunately society is crumbling under the weight of this sin. Many people make their own rules as to what is okay and what is not okay. In this article, we will explore what society has to say about sex outside of marriage and what God says.
What Society Says
Everywhere you look in our society today, people are promoting sex. A short trip to the grocery store, restaurant, ball game, gas station, etc often presents you with some display of lustfulness in advertisements and the way people dress. It’s even hard to avoid it in the privacy of your own home because it is all over television. If you attempt to watch a basketball game, the cameras will catch shots of the cheerleaders and dancing girls who are barely dressed. If you watch a sit-com, expect to find some reference (verbally or physically) to immoral sexual behavior. Even if you watch the news, you are almost guaranteed so see a commercial that is using sex to grab your attention. And what is very sad, this behavior has found its way into the church. In any given worship service, you can expect to see a woman wearing tight revealing pants, dresses, and low-cut tops. It is common now to see several unwed pregnant women in church. And there seems to be no concern to correct this behavior.
Society says that a real single man tries to “get” with as many women as he possibly can. If a man practices abstinence, society labels him as gay or something must be wrong with him. I can personally say that I suffered a lot of ridicule while growing up due to practicing abstinence. One might expect that the mocking came from guys. But I would say that 95% of the ridiculing came from females. They would make joke after joke and often said I was not a real man. A poll was recently taken and women were asked if they wanted to marry a virgin or a man who is sexually experienced. Well over 50% of the women answered that they wanted the experienced man.
Even though society is more accepting of a woman that attempts to remain pure until marriage, she still often gets labeled as a “miss goody two shoes”. Other females will often push her out as an outsider and she has to deal with the loneliness of being rejected by her peers along with rejection from most men that want nothing to do with her if she is not “giving it up”.
Society says you do not buy a pair of shoes without first trying them on. For anyone not familiar with the saying, it simply means they will not marry a person until they first see how he or she is in bed. People think that by doing this, they can avoid incompatibility in marriage. But statistics show that only 2% of couples who waited until marriage for sex end up in divorce. While over 50% of couples who did not wait end up in divorce. Why the difference? Because mankind does not have the wisdom that God has. When man creates his own rules that contradict God’s commandments, failure should always be expected. As we are about to see, this mentality goes directly against God’s word. But unfortunately that is the current condition of our society.
What the Bible Says
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. – 1 Corinthians 6:15-20.
Yes, you read that scripture correctly, he that has sex with a harlot (prostitute) becomes one body with her. And since she has had multiple partners that became one with her, you become one with all of them. By committing fornication you are taking what belongs to Christ and giving it to whoredom. This scripture does not apply just to harlots. It applies to everyone. This is why Apostle Paul stated the following, “lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced”. – 2 Corinthians 12:21. He refers to this behavior as uncleanness. God speaks strongly against fornication throughout the Bible. It is not a gray area that He tip-toes around. There are numerous passages that forbid fornication. “But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;” – Ephesians 5:3. God even refers to evil nations as harlots, “For true and righteous are His judgments, because He has judged the great harlot who corrupted the earth with her fornication; and He has avenged on her the blood of His servants shed by her.” – Revelation 19:2.
There are many consequences that result from being disobedient to God when it comes to fornication. First of all you are defiling His holy temple as we saw earlier in 1 Corinthians 6:19. Would you go into a church and vandalize the sanctuary? That is the same thing as defiling your body, which is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Another consequence is unwanted pregnancy. Statistics have skyrocketed into a negative direction as a result of fornication. If people would save sex until marriage, there never would have been a movement to legalize abortion which is also sin. Abortion came about as a result of man trying to cover up sin. Due to disobedience to God, approximately 46 million babies have been aborted since 1973. The current count for abortions in the U.S. per year stands at 1.3 million. Due to fornication, 40 percent of babies are born out of marriage yearly. That is a 30 percent increase from just twenty years ago. Due to fornication over 65 million people in the US have a viral STD with nearly 19 million new cases each year. Percentage wise, nearly half of people will contract an STD in their lifetime.
Fornication also relates to why 50% of marriages end in divorce. This is because many go into marriage with wounded emotions, spirits, and diseased bodies. When you decide to lie with someone outside of marriage, stop and think about whether you want to get married some day or not. If you are like most people, you will desire marriage at some point. The day may come when you have found the love you have always dreamed of but having to face that person and tell them of all the prior partners and sexually transmitted diseases that you are dragging into your marriage may not go over too well and can be devastating…especially if your potential spouse’s background is at the opposite end of the spectrum. Therefore, many marriages begin with two strikes against it already if the relationship does not die before making it to the altar. When you choose to fornicate, you sin against your own body and against a possible future spouse. There are many cases of a spouse having a life long struggle with their mate’s promiscuity.
If you are a woman, think about if you desire having kids some day. 100,000 to 150,000 women become infertile each year as a result of STDs. And if you do not become infertile, some STDs can cause your child to be born with defects such as blindness. Don’t make your child suffer because of your disobedience to God. Even if a child has no physical defect, a single parent home can cause them to have emotional scars due to lack of love from a mother and a father.
God gives warning to the fate of fornicators that do not repent, “But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” – Revelation 21:8. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” – Hebrews 13:4. If you have committed fornication and lived a promiscuous lifestyle, don’t beat yourself up, just repent while you still have time. Many factors may have contributed to you being that way but you can make a complete change. If you will confess your sins and repent, God is willing to wash it all away. Jesus paid the price for all sins when He died on the cross. Do not allow His sacrifice to be a waste in your life. Repent now and become a born again virgin. “Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.” – Acts 3:19. After you have repented, fast and pray so that God will give you the power to reject temptation. Find someone that you trust that can hold you accountable. That person can encourage you during your walk with God.
There are many cases in the Bible when God used women who were harlots for His cause. Rahab was a prostitute in Jericho. She hid the Israelite spies that came to take over her city. For this act, she and her family were spared during the invasion. Her faith was commended in Hebrews 11:31 and she is even listed in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. Tamar is another example; she played the harlot by seducing Judah but is also listed in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. These examples were not given to glorify fornication but to show that God can use anyone and is willing to forgive if you will turn to Him.
Making the decision to have sex outside of marriage can lead to severe consequences such as unwanted pregnancy, abortion, incurable STDs, losing the person you would like to marry, divorce, having a child with birth defects, becoming infertile, and demonic possession. And on top of all of that, you are defiling the temple that belongs to Christ. Before giving in, ask yourself is it worth it? God placed emphasis on forbidding fornication because it symbolizes a rejection of Him. God referred to idol worship as prostitution in many passages. Molech was an idol god that people sacrificed their children to. God said the following about those who sacrificed to Molech, “I will set my face against that man and his family and will cut off from their people both him and all who follow him in prostituting themselves to Molech”. – Leviticus 20:5.
Joining yourself as one with a person symbolizes the relationship that Christ has with His believers. But it symbolizes the relationship with Christ ONLY when done in marriage. It symbolizes joining with satan when done outside of marriage and opens the door for demonic possession. When Jesus returns, the Bible describes His union with Christians as, “Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” – Revelation 19:7. Satan has perverted sexuality because he wants to break mankind’s relationship with Jesus and the symbolism of joining with Jesus. Do not allow satan to defile your temple of the Holy Spirit. The day will come when satan will no longer be able to pervert what God has given to us. Therefore we find hope and great joy in the soon return of our Savior Jesus Christ! Until then, Blessings to Israel and to the only wise God, be glory through Jesus Christ forever. Amen.